Friday, March 10, 2006

Full Moon, Part Three

The Lunar New Year had come and gone, but its shadow remained. I'd chosen to overlook K's past offenses as alcohol-influenced flukes in an otherwise carefree friendship. I was in constant fear of losing people. I needed people to latch onto. Even those I feared and resented were a source of comfort.

Of course, I still felt awkward about what had happened. Two weeks later, I made a point of ignoring him while the gang guzzled Long Island ice teas in a hip hop club in Itaewon. The New Yorker and I burrowed ourselves in a booth, sipped overpriced, imported beer and watched nervous bartenders shoot down lovelorn foreigners.

"Could an artist be inspired if he's happy?" he asked, his long, lovely fingers shredding his beer label.

"I think so," I said, thinking of how long it'd been since I'd tinkered with my scripts. "Why? Do you think you can only work when you're sad?"

"I felt my most creative during college. Before I graduated, I was so depressed. I was worried about finding a job there. That fear drove me to do my best work."

"Well, I think it's awesome that you worked in New York," I said. "The big city would probably devour a dumb hick like me."

"Don't say that. You've traveled more than anyone I know. And I grew up in an small agricultural area. I've only lived in the city for the past five years. I'm a redneck, too."

I stared at the table. "Well, if you haven't come up with any new ideas, that must mean you're happy, right?"

"And so are you." Our eyes locked.

"Well, I was depressed in high school, and all that came out of that period was really shitty poetry," I drawled.

"High school poetry. Can't think of anything worse."

"I was a communist."

"Never mind."

We laughed as I leaned towards him, jerking at a paper napkin with both hands. "I would think getting laid would help you in the creativity department."

"What are you saying . . .?"

"K told me you had sex last night?"

He looked past me and shook his head. "I don't want to think about it."

"K said she was hot. And Korean."

"I called her this morning. Her English was excellent, but it was difficult to talk with her. We don't have anything in common."

"Did you at least make her breakfast?" He nodded. "Good boy."

We watched as K tried to swoop down and kiss T, just a few tables away. The latest addition to our band of expats turned her face away, her lips tight in disgust. "The guy just got over you and he's already hitting on your new best friend," NYer said.

"I hope he doesn't scare her off. I really like her."

"He's not dangerous."

"You don't remember how he treated me on Lunar New Year?"

"His aggressiveness embarrasses me sometimes. But if you felt threatened, you should have told me."

"I can take care of myself."

"Pia, you're 80 pounds. I'd hate to fight the guy--he's built like a tank. But I would have helped you."

As K leaned in for another kiss, NYer and I finished our beers and ordered another round. I blinked the smoke out of my eyes, thinking of how pleasant it was to just be near him--someone so pretty and kind and easy to talk to. Even our moments of silence felt comfortable and safe.

I only wanted to curl up in his shoulder and shut my eyes for awhile . . .

"What's it like to have a one-night stand?" I suddenly asked.

"Honestly? It's great--for a moment. Then I start to want something more." He shook his head. "I'm exhausted. I should go."

"I'll walk you out."

We stood up and headed out. He placed his hand on the small of my back. I shivered involuntarily.

Once we were outside he stopped and turned to face me. I stood on the front steps and sighed, hugging my bare shoulders and gazing out at him without shame or restraint.

"It's late," he said. "You could spend the night at my place."

"I shouldn't ditch my girlfriends."

He laughed, stepped forward and wrapped his arms around me, pressing me close.

Then he was gone. And I haven't seen him since.

Pia at 12:37 AM

6 comments

6 Comments

at 7:52 AM  Kevin Sole said...

Gah!

Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo... can't be the end, can it?

 

at 3:07 PM  Kevin Sole said...

What did you (not) do, David?

 

at 12:44 AM  Pia said...

Considering I haven't seen NYer for a month and he now has an extremely hot girlfriend, I have to say any delusions I held have gone under.

Dave, you and I have to start acting on our guts. As they say in Korea, "Fighting!"

 

at 2:08 AM  Kevin Sole said...

My guts tell me to run away. So in that, I'm definitely acting on them. :p

Well, if they've gone under, move on. Find a new NYer. He's out there. They always are.

 

at 12:40 PM  Kevin Sole said...

Hijiacking a blog again. Sorry Pia. :)

David - Is there going to be someone in particular at this party that you're interested in, or are you speaking of, like, a general chicken-ness?

Either way, don't overthink it. That's always my downfall. I've asked out Sabrina a million times in my mind, but I'll probably never have the guts to really do it. I've just overthought it. When I'm spontaneous (and generally ridiculous), I get better results.

Mind you, "better" means "not that good anyways". But still better.

 

at 8:19 PM  Anonymous said...

awwwww,

 

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